If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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