its not stalking. its research.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
