So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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