sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
