You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
