**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
