Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
