Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Even my vagina gasped.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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