no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
