I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
