no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
