There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
