This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize