he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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