So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When are your genitals available?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
