what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
