My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
