you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
did i just pee glitter
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
