yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
