Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
