i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
