I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
