I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
