I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
