you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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