The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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