shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
