Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
