May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
