We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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