He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
