The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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