Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
