Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
