Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
