There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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