You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Found your dick twin last night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
