Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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