so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
