I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
