Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
please come you make the beer taste better
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
