I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
