Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
