I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
