i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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