: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
