Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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