Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
