Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
