it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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